


Bathing Day... It Is Not

by Baka Ouji (Kaworu)



Series: SnK Crack Ficlets [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-08-27
Packaged: 2017-12-24 19:32:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/943807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaworu/pseuds/Baka%20Ouji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another training session, and another problem Eren has to face. Who will protect him from his superiors' wrath?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bathing Day... It Is Not

**Author's Note:**

> There's a hint of pre-Eren x Levi if you squint (that will probably get me killed. Sorry, Vega ^^")
> 
> Copyright for the idea goes to [Aiuke](http://aiuke.deviantart.com), or rather to our spam... I mean, discussion in the comments to [this picture](http://aiuke.deviantart.com/art/Curious-mind-395517859).

It was another training session with Hanji, and this time Eren was actually having fun. They were working on his agility, so most of the time he was running or rolling on the ground, evading the obstacles Hanji had prepared for him.

"Alright, Eren, that's very good," Hanji shouted from her standing point some distance away. "Now come here, I want to try something else."

Eren did as he was told, stopping in front of Hanji, panting slightly from all of the exercise.

"You're improving a lot," Hanji told him with a smile. "But there's still a lot you have to learn."

Eren nodded in agreement.

"And still a lot more I want to learn about you," Hanji continued.

Eren gave her another nod, much less confident this time.

"Don't be scared," Hanji laughed. "I won't hurt you. ...irreparably," she added as an afterthought, and Eren was ready to bolt from the words combined with Hanji's radiant grin. "Now, now." She held out a hand, probably in an attempt to calm him, but Eren didn't feel reassured at all. "I'm thinking of something even more fun for the rest of the training. Are you interested, Eren?"

Eren shifted from foot to foot nervously.

"I know you're interested," Hanji continued in her trademark enthusiastic manner. "Imagine you're in a battlefield. Can you do that?"

Eren nodded. This much was easy. That was why he was training in the first place, right?

"Now. You're never alone there. Or at least you shouldn't be. So you're fighting alongside someone."

Eren nodded again.

"So how would you interact with them?" Hanji asked with a huge grin, and Eren frowned.

For all of his bravado about killing titans he couldn't see himself as part of a team, at least not in his titan form. How was he supposed to interact with the others without hurting them? It was one thing to protect someone -- he knew he would do it, proved it with Mikasa and Armin -- but when his primary goal was to fight...? The only two people he could imagine keeping up with him were Mikasa and--

"Oi! Levi!"

Eren snapped out of his thoughts at Hanji's yell.

"I know you're hiding there, so come out and help us!"

Levi materialised from behind a tree, his usual scowl in place.

"You heard everything, right?" Hanji chirped happily. "So let Eren carry you while he's doing the obstacle course!"

"Are you out of your mind, shitty glasses? As if I'd let him touch me."

Eren sighed disappointed. Of course the Corporal wouldn't want to touch a monster like him.

"Hey, Levi! You're hurting Eren's feelings," Hanji said, hands on her hips. "At least try to be nice from time to time."

Levi hmph'ed, looking uncomfortable. "Who'd care about a shitty brat's feelings?" he muttered. "And he should know that I'd never touch anything covered in mud unless absolutely necessary. Right, Eren?" Levi looked at him, and Eren nearly dropped his jaw.

Was it just him, or was Corporal Levi, humanity's strongest soldier, actually blushing? No, it was impossible. Eren shook his head to clear the illusion.

"So what, you think I'd--"

"Alright then!" Hanji interrupted Levi's oncoming tirade. "All we have to do is clean Eren, right?"

For some reason Eren didn't like the gleam in Hanji's eyes.

"I was going to test water's effects on titans anyway, so why not kill two birds with one stone, hmm? What do you say, Eren?"

Eren looked from Hanji's almost ecstatic grin to Levi who was already rolling up his sleeves, his scowl darker than usual. The sight made Eren shiver, and he felt his brain slowly shutting down, transferring all control to instincts.

"Now, Eren, it won't be so bad," Hanji cooed.

"Not bad at all," Levi growled, glaring at Eren with killing intent.

Eren did the first thing that came to mind. He arched his back and hissed, and then he bolted.

Running felt good, tree branches brushing against his skin and wind hitting his face, and after some time Eren felt his head clearing. He stopped, mortified. Not only had he disobeyed a direct order from two of his superiors (well, it wasn't exactly an order, but still), he also ran away. What was he going to do now? He was sure that Levi would kill him as soon as he could get his hands on him, and Eren really didn't want to die. Sighing he plodded through the forest, head hung low, until a sound caught his attention. A swishing sound of 3D Manoeuvre Gear.

Eren mentally gave himself a kick. Of course they were going to follow him! They couldn't just leave a titan roaming free, could they? Eren intended to stay still and meet his fate with dignity, he really did, but his legs apparently had other ideas.

He ran again, the sounds of pursuing closer and closer until he could clearly hear Hanji's screams for him to stop. Eren made a few random turns to throw his superiors off, or maybe not so random because he ended up on a clearing where the new recruits were training.

The young soldiers flew in all directions, some actually screamed, and only one figure stayed still. Eren ran to the familiar red scarf, and then crouched behind Mikasa, trying to make himself as small as possible. A giggle sounded from Eren's side, unmistakably Armin's, but it died out when Hanji and Levi landed in front of them.

"Hey, shitty brat," Levi said with a glare that could make titans wet themselves. "Care to explain what that was about?"

Eren shivered, lowering his head to the ground so that it was behind Mikasa's back.

"What are you trying to do to Eren?" Mikasa asked, moving so that she could cover Eren better, as futile as it was with their difference in proportions.

"Back off, Ackerman," Levi answered with obvious threat in his voice.

Mikasa didn't move an inch.

"We're not going to hurt him." It was Hanji this time, her arms opened in an attempt to look less threatening. "We're just trying to wash him."

"Huh?" Mikasa's voice sounded surprised, and her stance slackened for a second before she tensed again. "Doesn't look like he wants to get washed," she said.

"Watch it, girl! Is this any way to talk to your superiors." Apparently their instructor recovered from the shock. Auruo, was it? Eren glared at him, and the man shut up with an audible gulp.

"Are you sure you want to take me on?" Levi again. His voice was low and dangerous, and Eren stared at the ground so he wouldn't have to look at his superior's face.

"With all due respect, sir." Mikasa spat the last word out as if it tasted sour. "I don't think Eren is in any shape to do anything at the moment."

"Hmph. Do as you wish. Let's go, shitty glasses."

The sound of footsteps, and then Mikasa's hand was on his nose. Eren raised his eyes to look at her.

"Are you alright, Eren," she asked, looking into his eyes.

Eren nodded.

"Good. If that midget tries anything again, come to me, I'll drive him off."

Eren shifted nervously. Somehow he had mixed feelings about this, and now he was also worried about both his and Mikasa's wellbeing, especially during sleep.


End file.
